It has taken a reasonable amount of time to gather the courage to write to you. These words leave from my heart onto this page with great care. I hope that when this letter reaches you my mind will be a little more at ease than it is now, as I am already wondering how you will respond. There are thoughts and feelings I never got to express while you were still close and in writing this I shall do my best to reveal them to you.
There we days in which you never questioned whether I was enough or not, I miss those days. We had each other’s backs without compromise. You were proud to be associated with me. I do not remember anyone teaching you how to be grateful for the love we shared but, you showed much more gratitude for me then than you did as time went by. It seems that what they teach you brings more uncertainty than security. Sometimes I wonder if the opinions of “experts” are really that convincing or it’s just that you choose to forget the strength we have as us. I have always known you and you, me. Being known by me has always meant that I can hold you and withstand the storms constantly brewing on the inside of you. Now since you left, you struggle with your own identity. The amount of YouTube videos you watch don’t do much to fix the mess you’re in either. You are “soul searching” they say. With me you never had to go through any of that because I am the soul you’re searching for.
When you began to drift away I hoped it was for your benefit but, it has become your downfall. And you know, some downfalls are positive but, yours is not. Yours is a mess of a fall because I am supposed to be to holding you as the process takes place but, I am not. You would not let me even if I asked because “it is what grown ups do”. What you forget is that I was made for you and no one can be me for you but, just me. You walked out and turned back too late. When a lot of the shadows and fears had blocked your view was when you tried looking for me. It hurt that you could not see when I was right behind you, next to you and in front of you. I eventually gave in to the trial you put me through, I decided to wait for you. I made up my mind and chose to wait for such a time as this when I could reach you. Even though you seem too far, we can never be too far apart. We can still find our way to each other and be together as we were from the beginning.
The beginning was when you were younger. You always trusted me, your heart… your HOME. I held you so close that even when you were falling, you would not be as fearful as you are now. My beat was always the assurance that we would be alright, whatever we go through. Sharing me was not as difficult because we trusted each other…. oh my I’m running out of time. There’s a lot I want to remind you that kept me hoping as I waited to reach you. Having not the time to do so, I believe that you have heard me regardless of the abrupt ending I am getting to.
You know me, I know you. Trust me again. Think about me. Love me again. Come to me. I have missed you so terribly. Your beautiful mind and soul are my reason for being.
Your heart, your HOME.
#Afrobloggers #Day11 #WinterABC